What I’ve Learned From 5 Years With Twins

(Besides How to Function on Cold Coffee and Chaos)

Five years. We made it. We survived the double diapers, the double tantrums, the preschool pick-ups with one twin refusing shoes and the other refusing pants. And now? They’re five.

Here’s what five years of twin parenting has taught me—lessons from the heart, the trenches, and the Target snack aisle (but don't take them to stores - grocery delivery always).

1. They’re Not a Package Deal (Even When the World Treats Them Like One)

Strangers still say, “Aww, twins! Which one is the shy one?”As if they come pre-labeled like shampoo bottles. But five years in, I’ve learned: They are their own people.

One might love bugs. The other, ballet. One’s all about rules. The other… well, let’s just say we hide the glitter glue now. It’s not my job to define them - it’s my job to give them space to define themselves.

2. You Don’t Have to Parent Them the Same to Love Them Equally

This was a big one. One of my twins needs extra cuddles and slow mornings. The other needs to move, talk, spin, ask, repeat. I used to think: “If I’m giving more time to one, am I being unfair to the other?”

Nope. Fair doesn’t mean equal. Fair means each kid gets what they need. And sometimes that looks very different....the mom guilt side of that...I am still working on.

3. Comparison Is a Trap—Even Between Your Own Kids

It creeps in:“Why is she reading and she’s not?”“Why is she more social than her sister is?” But they are two different kids born on the same day - not a mirror, not a race. Now, when I catch myself comparing, I pause and ask: What’s this really about - their journey, or my fear?

4. Five-Year-Old Twins Will Keep You Laughing… and Humble

This age is golden.They’re curious, clever, brutally honest (“Mom, your breath smells like old cheese”), and unintentionally hilarious. But they’ll also school you on your own rules:“Mom, YOU said screens are for weekends. Today is Wednesday.”Cool cool cool. 😅

5. They Need You Just as Much as Ever - Just Differently

They don’t need help with sippy cups anymore. But they do need help navigating friendships, big feelings, and the drama of “She said my drawing was just scribbles!” They’re gaining independence—but they still need your lap, your calm, your “I see you.” Five is big-kid energy with toddler-level emotions still lurking underneath.

6. You’re Still in the Thick of It—And That’s Okay

Five isn’t magically easier. It’s just new challenges:

• Twin birthday party drama (and yes, I had a wildly viral video about this)

• Clothing and friend envy

• Someone always yelling “Moooom!”

But you? You’ve grown too. You know how to breathe before reacting. You’ve learned to laugh at the chaos (most days).And you know that a bad morning doesn’t mean a bad mom.

Final Thought: The Twin Bond is Real, and So Is the Mom Strength

They fight hard. They love harder. They share snacks, secrets, and sibling sass like it’s a second language.

And you? You’ve been the referee, the coach, the cheerleader, and the safe place for two whole humans for five years.

That’s not just parenting.That’s superpower status.